Samstag, 4. Februar 2012

あなた、私に何してほしい?

Ist es nich seltsam wie eine Begegnung ein größeres Trauma auslöst als ein Autounfall?
An den Autounfall erinnere ich  mich nicht mehr wirklich bzw. er interessiert mich auch nicht mehr.
Stattdessen dieses psychische Trauma, welches mich in Japan ereilte!
Zugegeben auch das wird von Tag zu Tag blasser....die Intensität des Visuellen verblasst, was auch nicht verwunderlich ist und doch...auf der einen Seite ist es gut so und auf der anderen Seite macht es mich traurig. Dass ich bei dem Konzert war, das hab ich bis heute noch nicht realisiert..vielleicht erst wenn die DVD endlich mal rauskommt..oder vielleicht auch nie. Wer weiß das schon.
Letztendlich drehen sich meine Gedanken aber immer im Kreis. Es gibt so viele "Warum?"s in meinem Kopf, die ich nicht beantworten kann.
Was ich weiß ist, hätte ich gewusst, dass dies ein Abschied für immer ist, hätte ich ihn wahrscheinlich ausgedehnt. Was bleibt..was uns bleibt sind....ich hab das Lied schon ewig nicht mehr gehört..jahre..es stieg mir nur plötzlich zu Kopf...
Alles, was zu Ende ist, kann auch Anfang sein.
Man sollte nicht an alten Zeiten kleben.
Doch ich bin kein Ignorant, der zu schnell vergisst.
Das, was einmal war, ist auch mein Leben ♫
 Hmm.... Gute Nacht x_X

Freitag, 3. Februar 2012

[DETROX] BLACK BOX (THE END #6)

CREDITS FOR WRITING DOWN THE LYRICS ON THE NET: AYA

Runaway
hit a miss or break your back
if you wanna get the monster media
gotta roll with the night show
pick up and get go with the night show
anyway, unaware, the pig gets fat
you can get a bit of this, a bit of that
better roll with the night show
don't you wait another minute
hey, get a load of this

color me vision, who am i? ism
all we see isn't, color me wisdom

i wanna space where i can breathe
i see so much that i can't see
got everything yet i still need
and think so much that i can't think
can't hear, can't talk, can't get away
shut down
do me the favor

got away, got away with what they said
the king is gone, but is he dead?
wanna roll with the light show
get up and get go with the light show
anyway, unaware, don't look so sad
it may seem dull, but ain't that bad
better roll with the light show
somebody gotta open up that door

color me vision, who am i? ism
all we see isn't, color me wisdom

i wanna space where i can breathe
i see so much that i can't see
got everything yet i still need
and think so much that i can't think

i wanna space where i can breathe
i see so much that i can't see
got everything yet still i need
and think so much that i can't think
it's got it's reach inside of me
i'm feeling something here so deep inside
got everything yet still i need
and think so much that i can't think
can't hear, can't talk, can't anything
shut down
do me the favor

[DETROX] INSPIRED (THE END #5)

CREDITS FOR WRITING DOWN THE LYRICS ON THE NET: AYA
INSPIRED

something i can't explain at all
a trip to source and that's enough
it comes to me, i open up
no words, no thought, so simple

don't even need to be
don't need to wonder why
who needs to see to be opened up and so alive
you find that nobody's home
and yet you're not alone
don't even know yourself
you're going higher

sometimes it makes no sense at all
something so new and faraway
i think i'm down when i'm still up
no hate, no fear, so simple

get so going out of your head
that you don't care where you're at (inspired)
gets so that you don't even know
and could never begin to ask (inspired)
got you spinning out of control
and you got no sense of time
you don't need reason, any reason
higher

get so going out of your mind
that you don't care where you are (inspired)
gets so that you never could know
if you really are near or far (inspired)
don't think 'bout loosing control
you know, you've never been so alive
you don't need reason, any reason
get so going out of your head
that you don't care where you're at (inspired)
gets so that you don't even know
and could never begin to ask (inspired)
got you spinning out of control
and you got no sense of time
you don't need reason, any reason
higher

[DETROX] INTO POWER (THE END #4)

CREDITS FOR WRITING DOWN THE LYRICS ON THE NET: AYA

Into power

you can't get enough
you say you're addicted
what it is
you never give a shit, unsentimental mocking sadness
you can't give it up, you don't wanna miss it
what it is
you go about the biz
and every bit of burning blackness, ohh
you don't care, you don't feel
thought all you needed was a better theory
thought all you needed was a bit of tenure
you pretend, so it ain't real
thought all you needed was a good attorney
thought all you needed was to be misunderstood

you can't get enough and so you get loaded
what it is,
you really wanna kiss the fundamental virgin darkness
you can't get it up and so you exploded
there it is, you're doin' it again
you been a little redneck bad ass, ohh
you don't care, you don't feel
thought all you needed was the military
thought all you needed was a bit of madness
you pretend, so it ain't real
thought all you needed was a different daddy
but all you needed was a better standard fare

you don't care, you don't feel
doing dog eat dog, cryin' poor is me
you pretend, so it ain't real
thought all you needed was a good attorney
thought all you needed was a bit of tenure

you don't care, you don't feel
thought all you needed was the military
thought all you needed was a bit of madness
you pretend, so it ain't real
thought all you needed was a different daddy
but all you needed was a better standard fare

[DETROX] RIDE AN ANGEL (THE END #3)

ride an angel

豪快に前に行 け
いつもお前の前に行け
功を奏していても
どう?こうしていても
一瞬はやけに逡巡と迫る
残像は消して
確か な今を刻んで行くと

I never gonna let you go

ride, ride,ride, ride, ride an angel
ride, ride,ride, ride, ride an angel
ride, ride,ride, ride, ride an angel
yeah!!!!!
ride, ride,ride, ride, ride an angel
ride, ride,ride, ride, ride an angel
ride, ride,ride, ride, ride an angel
yeah!!!!!

what’s up?
it’s time to ride

打ちのめされても
うちひしがれても
倒れそうな時も
いつもお 前の前に行け
明日は明日の 風が吹くだろう
さっさと羽根を繕い お前を見せてくれ

I never gonna let you go

ride, ride,ride, ride, ride an angel
ride, ride,ride, ride, ride an angel
ride, ride,ride, ride, ride an angel
yeah!!!!!

ride

what’s up?
it’s time to ride


ohhh, i just wanna ride! ride

ride, ride,ride, ride, ride an angel
ride, ride,ride, ride, ride an angel
ride, ride,ride, ride, ride an angel
yeah!!!!!
常に一切無い 後悔は無い
豪快に胸の鳴る方へ jump

ride, ride,ride, ride, ride an angel
ride, ride,ride, ride, ride an angel
ride, ride,ride, ride, ride an angel
ride, ride,ride, ride, ride an angel
ride, ride,ride, ride, ride an angel
ride, ride,ride, ride, ride an angel
ride, ride,ride, ride, ride an angel
yeah!!!!!
情無き夜に lost my head
you need get real
It’s back to square one

[DETROX] DARK AND LIGHT (THE END #2)

CREDITS FOR WRITING DOWN THE LYRICS ON THE NET: AYA

Dark and Light

don’t get it, so don’t  say you are sorry
don’t  bother, bye bye, i know the story
you got a mighty, mighty,
mighty, mighty, mighty,
mighty fine deal going with mister
time, darkness and the light

you know it gets too dark
and we can't find the way home
too tight and we can't seem to let go
too dark and we can't find the way home
too black and i can't find the way
i gotta know me
no one can show me
too bright and i can't see where i go
too heavy and i'm gonna let go
too bright and i can't see where i go
too right and i can't find the way
i gotta show me
nobody owes me
time, darkness and the light

too much and i break it down
not enough and i'm underground
too lucky, i'm comin' down
comin' down, got me comin' down
no reason, no right or wrong
only shadows to balance on
we go where we're gonna be
you'll remember that i told you
someday
don't do it, no don't say you are sorry
don't bother, bye bye, i heard the story
you got a shiny, shiny, shiny, shiny, shiny,
shiny fine deal going with mister
time, darkness and the light

too much and i break it down
not enough and i'm underground
too lucky, i'm comin' down
comin' down, got me comin' down
no reason, no right or wrong
only shadows to balance on
we go where we're gonna be
you'll remember that i told you
someday

too much and i break it down
not enough and i'm underground
too lucky, i'm comin' down
comin' down, got me comin' down
no reason, no right or wrong
only shadows to balance on
we go where we're gonna be
you'll remember everything

you wanted to come along
and then you hand me a smokin' gun
don't say you didn't
no reason, no right or wrong
gimme a minute
dark and the light goes on
and then i'm in it
cool and i won't hold tight
another minute
but everything has a price
so don't forget it
we go where we're gonna be
you'll remember that i told you
someday 

[DETROX] MUDDY (THE END #1)

CREDITS FOR WRITING DOWN THE LYRICS ON THE NET: AYA

muddy

dead as space, so cold
hazy light against my face
ohh!
thought you're gonna get it
no doubtin', baby
you wanted me
but you're never gonna get my soul

muddy
and it got me thinkin' why?
got me seein' nothin'
when i see your bitter eyes
got me in the middle
caught up in another lie
everything gets fuzzy
when you fake it with a smile
got a healer comin'
gonna open up my eye
never sayin' nothin'
without ever tellin' why

endless muddy in my sky
endless muddy in my life
i don't care
if you don't get it anyway
endless muddy in my day
endless muddy in my night
i don't care
cause you can have it anyway
i'll be leaving tonight

it gets so muddy
gimme back the bottom line
gimme back the pieces
let me get back to my life

gimme back the meaning
gimme back another time
hear what you are saying
but i'll read between the lines

yo! muddy cat, gonna let you go
i gotta give it up or choke
i'm better out of control
a little bit'll kill my mama, so don't,
you better get your own life
i'm never gonna breakdown

endless muddy in my sky
endless muddy in my life
i don't care
if you don't get it anyway
endless muddy in my day
endless muddy in my night
i don't care
cause you can have it anyway
i'll be leaving tonight

endless muddy in my sky
endless muddy in my life
i don't care
if you don't get it anyway
endless muddy in my day
endless muddy in my night
i don't care
cause you can have it anyway
i'll be leaving tonight

endless muddy in my sky
endless muddy in my life
i don't care
if you don't get it
cause i'm goin' anyway
endless muddy in my day
endless muddy in my night
i don't care
cause you can have it anyway
i'm leaving here tonight
yeah!, i'm leaving you tonight

Nichts In Der Welt

Somehow it's quite difficult to translate from German to Japanese. I have no idea why..but somehow it's hard to deliver the same feelings. I wonder if this translation makes any sense anyway XD
I just found this song on youtube by accident when I was browsing some old Ärzte videos and right in the moment when that line "Es heißt, dass jedes Ende auch ein Anfang wär" appeared I was all done for it. I already had some thoughts about it before the line appeared but that line only remembered me of the same words Hideki said many years ago at SIAM SHADE's final live..that 『終わりは始まり』というsentence. It's the same but the supplement of the words "Doch warum tut es so weh und warum ist es so schwer?" is probably the same thing they felt back then...they just didn't say it.
But this song also made me realize that I am going back and forth.without any proper decision. But maybe I have made my decision but with this decision I always go back I am running in a field of aroused penises  circle.... o_ô Well maybe more time needs to pass.
Anyway I also think for some reason it's an ingenious song..hmm

Nichts In Der Welt


Es ist vorbei und der Himmel ist schwarz, weil die Sonne hier nie wieder scheint
Es ist vorbei, doch ich hoffe, dass das, was uns trennte, uns wieder vereint
もう終わりだ 空が黒い理由は  ここで太陽がもはや輝いてないから
もう終わりだけど 二人分かってるものがいつかまた二人を合わせる希望がある

Es ist vorbei und nichts in der Welt wird es je wieder gutmachen können
Es ist vorbei - wenn ich könnte, dann würde ich vor meinem Leben wegrennen
もう終わりだ この世でそれを埋め合わせられるものが無い
もう終わりだ  もしできたら俺の人生から逃げるけど

Würd' die Augen verschließen und ich würde probieren
meine Gefühle einfach zu ignorieren
Ich will so kalt sein, dass alle erfrieren
Will mich nie mehr verlieben, um nie mehr zu verliern
もしできたら 目を閉じて
自分の感情を無視してみる
みんなが凍え死ぬほど 冷たくなりたい
もはや負けないように もはや恋に落ちたくない

Es dauert noch, bis ich begreife, was das heißt:
Es ist vorbei, ich weiß nicht, warum - sag mir, was hab ich falsch gemacht
Es ist vorbei, du hast mein Herz zerfetzt und dir gar nichts dabei gedacht
その言葉が何なのか分かってくるまでは、まだ時間がかかる
もう終わりだ 理由がわからないから 何を間違えたか教えてくれ
もう終わりだ 思いやりのない君は俺の心を引き裂いた

Du bist so grausam - darum liebe ich dich
Obwohl ich doch weiß, dass du nicht gut bist für mich
Meine Gefühle sind an und für sich
lächerlich einfach - und einfach lächerlich
君はとてもひどい - だから君を愛してるよ
君の存在が俺に悪いのは知ってるのに
俺の感情は一体バカにシンプルだし、シンプルにバカだ

Weil jeder Gedanke nur um das Eine kreist:
Es ist vorbei, vorbei, vorbei! (x4)
その一つのことしか考えられない
もう終わり、終わり、終わり!
Es ist vorbei, doch idiotischerweise will ich immer noch bei dir sein
Es ist vorbei - und ich will nicht begreifen: Jeder Mensch ist für immer allein
もう終わりだけど 馬鹿ながらに 今でも君のそばにいたい
もう終わりだけど 人間が永遠にそれぞれ一人でいるのは分かりたくない

Liebe ist nur ein Traum, eine Idee und nicht mehr
Tief im Inneren bleibt jeder einsam und leer
Es heißt, dass jedes Ende auch ein Anfang wär
Doch warum tut es so weh und warum ist es so schwer?
愛は夢だけで アイデアばっかり
心の奥底では 誰も孤独とむなしさのままでいる
終わりも始まりだと言っても
なんでそんなに痛いかな?
なんでそんなに難しいかな?

Ich lasse dich gehen, auch wenn es mich zerreißt
壊れても 君を行かせてあげよう

Es ist vorbei, vorbei, vorbei! (x4)
もう終わり、終わり、終わり!

Es ist vorbei und nichts in der Welt wird es je wieder gutmachen können
もう終わりだ この世でそれを埋め合わせられるものが無いよ

Donnerstag, 2. Februar 2012

突然機嫌がまた....変わってしまった.....

時々そんな機嫌変わりが.....めんどい。たまに去年栄喜が言ってくれた言葉が気になる...

『それから、俺の初めて出来たドイツ人の友達だからね
これからも、ながくよろしくな。』と...

友達?友達?そんなに簡単に『友達』と呼ばれた?なにそれ....友達じゃないんだ。
友情とは何?私には友情は深い繋がりで、何があっても、お互い助ける絆。
まぁもしかしたら、私が間違うかも...とにかく、私が間違った瞬間はいろいろあった。
でも『ファン』を『友達』と比べて、すごく違っている意味だね。
 ファンから自然に友達になるのは無理だ。
ファンの態度も友達のと違うんじゃん? 何年もファンだから、ボタンを押しても、態度をすぐに変えられない。本当かうそか知らないが、栄喜はちょっと純情な心を持ってる人かも...やさしい人だが、一方その親切に付け込む人もいると思う。後悔するんだ。親切に付け込んだことがないけれど、軽率なこと沢山しちゃった...でも私は自分の幸せをみんなで分けるのは間違うかな?その分、私も純情な心を持ってるかな?だから、『こわい人』のように見えるかな?
確かに、日本人の考え方は外国人のと違うと思う。 たとえば人のブログから写真を他で載せることは、外国人から見ると、普通の行動ですが、日本人から見ると、犯罪ですね。
栄喜のボイスから写真を他で載すのは犯罪だということって、わかるけど。それは特別なブログだからね。

まぁ、確かに私はちょっとおかしい人かも.... それなのに、けして悪意を抱く人間じゃない。
残念なことに、いろいろあったから、 栄喜について、機嫌によって、感じが変わっていく。人間的なことでしょう?友達に対しても、たまにそんな感じがある...愛憎という感じ?でも憎さはすごく強い言葉ですね。そして憎さを感じるとき、『ちょっとまって、間違うよ。いろいろ愛を注ぐ瞬間を贈ってくれたので、絶対憎さが無いよ。』という感じになる...
結局、憎さが憎さに変装した愛ばっかりと信じる。憎さは無関心の第一段階でしょう?
誰かに傷ついた後、いやな気持ちを生むのは人間っぽい...防衛機制? まぁ人間がわからないし、理想な人間がどこにいるか知らない...今まで会えたことないと思う。いつか会えるのかな?

むーむーむ、眠い.... おやすみ...

Looks like someone got fat here HAHAHA


look at this belly *pokes it* (・∀・)/
Instead of drinking beer and vegetating in your studio you should go jogging! That's my wish lol
Naaah...it's fine like this..you were skinny your whole life..so you can be chubby at your age now. :D

なにあっても、栄喜パパの丸い腹も好きだ♡ 撫でたいwwwwww

Watching Rach der Restauranttester again and I somehow got hungry. I could do linseneintopf...but it's too much for one person D:  On the other hand I already had one slice of bread some hours ago. Probably I am not even hungry but only bored..so I will kill the mandarine!


What a combination XD

Anyway I tried to update my blog a little bit with old entries unfortunately I updated so much that now a cacha appears everytime I wanna post something...for 24hours >_< so I feel like not wanting to update  old entries anymore~~~ Aaaah dramatic Laruku song is running on my winamp XD


I at least wish i had some snow but I could imagine that as soon as I had snow I would get angry like "FUCK YOU SNOW! GO AWAY!" etc...hahaha XD so far I also did not much today..maybe I am going to pack my bags again so that I don't have to do it this afternoon...I am not in the mood to pack at all usually...but it doesn't take long...so I ended up packing and ate bread again and made a chai latte with honey.

 onomnomnomnom (・∀・)/ 

and then I also saw my Eito bag at the door and noticed the pic is slowly getting worn out D;
Although I think I only washed it twice ;__;



それなのにエイトレンジャーが大好き!♥

うわぁもんじゃいビートを聴きたくなった!


After all I can combine fandoms pretty well XDD
ふぅうー!以上!