Dienstag, 29. Mai 2012

feeling tired and fat...lol :(

Story of my life I guess, because it's rare that I am not tired after a day of work.
Well there are such days...but today it's probably because I couldn't sleep at all last night.
Well that's probably also not true because the time was passing by quickly at night but at any rate that kind of sleep wasn't restorative at all.
Regarding work I have nothing to say. I only realized that the work at hospital can also be enjoyable..but it can also be saddening.
For example, today I was all day long mainly looking after a mentally and kinda physically handicapped person..well it's rather mentally I think..that's why physically movement also looks kind of different.
What saddens me is the fact that the person is not that much older than me. Well 30 I think? Whatever..since I don't know if that's a handicap he was born with or if it's a handicap which was caused by an accident, makes it tough. I mean, if you are born with a handicap it's normal for you but imagining that yourself could become like this...well I don't want to think like that but...well what I can say is..at least today I got rid of another fear in my life.
Told it before on twitter some weeks ago, but I am actually scared of mentally handicapped people because they do things different than the majority of humans do, which of course doesn't make them unnormal...because I simply think it's impossible to define what's normal and what's not.
Well basically from anatomical point of view you could of course say easily such people are not normal, but then again you could say anyone, who has a harmless or harmful disease in his/her life, has moments when he or she is not normal at all.

Actually you know, I am never allowed to talk about internal work related stuff, but then again I don't talk about stuff which is something special here I think because old people and handicapped people are also people you meet everyday on the streets.
So how far can you go regarding internal stuff? what are you allowed to talk about and what not?
But you know slowly I also start to like that rather different work at the hospital. It's less stressful that's for sure, but on the other hand you can't really compare it, because what I do at my usual workplace and in the hospital is kinda different. Also time feels different.
When I work in the hospital time doesn't seem to pass by at all,
but at my usual workplace time is so precious that it simply runs away.
Also in the hospital you have more time to spend it with collegues..and you always know where they are...
while at my usual workplace, after you got your task you are like a lone wolf who is fighting against the time.
Sometimes it feels like many lone wolves, fighting against each other because if you were too slow to do it, another one will do it for you, but this is rather...well it's different working.
So I got to know about different types of teamwork.

Sonntag, 27. Mai 2012

[Hideki's ameblo] 2012-05-24 / 02:48:11

2012-05-24 / 02:48:11
Title: There wasn't enough time...

Today was the rehearsal for my solo live,
tried out different stuff and I already improved some parts.
The first solo rehearsal after such a long time, was honestly speaking troublesome....
But,I was grateful that Wuchy put so much of his efforts into it.
Also I got to understand how awesome K-A-Z-kun is for real.
I thought he's a man who just does things, but in the end
he's a man who is indeed capable to do it.
That's good I think...
Since I was born, I met many different people,
but K-A-Z-kun is outstanding.
It's just that he can't eat vegetable (laughs).
I wonder why.
Well, indeed I am Dracula but I am asking myself right now If I should go to bed for today's rehearsal.
Today I will try to work persistenly.
Oh by the way, the kinema livehouse is a livehouse with an awesome athmosphere.
That's what JOE-san told me.
What should I wear?
Something to show off?
A trumpet shell? [1]
What would you prefer?

Bye!

original entry
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[1] No one actually got what he meant. lol

Samstag, 26. Mai 2012

[Hideki's ameblo] 2012-05-26 / 10:44:05

2012-05-26 / 10:44:05
Title: Refreshed. 

Finally I was able to sleep without thinking about time. Now I feel refreshed.
The extra live is also SOLD OUT. 

Thank you. 
All the profit I will gain through the extra live,
I will donate it to the live station for the musicians of tomorrow and for the development of the station.
Yoroshiku Onegaishimasu.
At any rate, what I think from the bottom of my heart, regarding everything is
"If you forgot about the entrance, there won't be an exit."
Why am I needed as a musician right now?
At times when I forgot the feeling where that entrance is and also forgot the reason why I came here this far,

I was suffering and struggling against myself because I didn't know anymore what I am,
at the time when I lost the reason why I came this far and lost the feeling for this "entrance".
If I think about it now, long time ago I also wrote in my blog "I will quit music".
The answer I have found back then and now is,
"If you forgot about the entrance, there won't be an exit"

At the time when I was busy with myself, I was thinking and telling myself "now I will spend time for myself only"
But afterwards, I heard a lot of rumours and regretted a lot.
Although it's also thanks to that person that I am doing music, 

even if that was unbearable, 
I asked myself why I didn't even try it.
Now, I am able to sing, without feeling regrets just when I live true to myself,

but there's a deeper meaning towards "not feeling regrets".
I will sing about that on my next album, so please try to get it from there.
Well, today I am going  to listen to the songs of the queen of ROCK and to JOE-san's Drums. 

Until then, of course I will exercise.
I think you won't be able to meet me anywhere except in live halls.
It's because I am trying to avoid crowds and change places quickly.
Even so sometimes I meet people  by accident and get requests to shake hands but,

apart from the SHIBUYA MAC incident, it's 100% requests by boys only.
Why?

Bye!


original entry

That douchebag called my sister's hubby.

Seriously my own life is not exciting lately either.
It's the usual thing. Less freetime, much work, a lot of travelling from A to B and B to A.
Well now I have 3 days off....chilling :D

Anyway what made me shock today is the fact that my sister's hubby is such an idiot.
You know on thursday evening my mum wrote a message to my sister and the hubby of my sister wrote it.
Actually she wrote something kind of ...harmless?
She just wrote that she wants to have breakfast with a grand-child(ren) on friday..so she invited them and my sister to come for breakfast indirectly...
but since she didn't write the name of my sister's hubby he's all pissed off. lol acting like a child.
I know well that my mum needs a lot of time to write a message on the cellphone and she also says so by herself that this wasn't her intention at all but wtf
I don't get him...
Well my mum is not to be blamed so there is no reason for her to apologize either.
Also if I am honest, it might be only me but I don't need him in my life.
I don't need people who bring trouble and an unpleasent athmosphere into my family. He's definitely not part of my family. no no..you don't need to think "But he's the husband of your sister!" I know that but I also know that my sister isn't as happy as she should be. She also has troublesome times with him..
His behaviour is also pretty annoying to her and to us, sometimes.
Immature, bitterly jealous, mean, lazy...well I am used to the fact that my sister always ends up with the wrong guys but this guy is pretty one of the worst she had so far, speaking of his attitude towards anything.
Actually, I shouldnt talk like this about him here maybe but it's also my business because in the end he's also part of my life even if I don't want to.
If he was a nice guy, I would probably be glad that he is, but as things are now, I am not.

Well people in general seem weird to me.
Just recently I realized that it's easier to see flaws and individuality regarding personality.
This makes it even harder for me to become friends or something with people.
Some of them might be nice but on the other hand they have this kind of attitude which is unlikeable and troublesome to me which doesn't make me want to get closer to them.
Well it's probably also because I feel like having the time to deal with anything which is a potential trouble-maker in my life right now.
Life is stressful enough, so I want to keep trouble and more stress regarding time as low as possible.

And oh regarding Hideki's ameblo.
I am working on it. It's just that I wasn't home and didn't have time to update the latest 5 entries...also because they are kinda larger entries.....
But I can already give keywords what they are about: Polygamy, Sumo, Solar Eclipse, Rehearsal stress..well that's mainly about it.

I am off...goodnight xD

Freitag, 25. Mai 2012

[Hideki's ameblo] 2012-05-25 / 13:14:01

2012-05-25 / 13:14:01
Title: Hello.
My voice my voice  ♪ revived properly.
I think these days it's uncommon to put leeks around your neck (laughs) [1]
Ah right!! Yesterday when I went to the rehearsal
I met the drummer Nagai by accident!!
I know he's living close to me but finally I was able to meet him.
Also it's a long time ago,
but when I entered a ramen shop, there was the professional wrestler Tenzan eating ramen.
There were a lot of free seats but I decided to sit on the seat next to him and then we ate together.
Of course that's only my own impression.
Also tomorrow the normal sale for the extra concert will start.
Yoroshiku Onegaishimasu.

Bye!

~~~LIVE INFO BLAHBLAH~

original entry

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[1] It is/was a tradition in Japan to put a leeks bandage around your neck when you have a throat cold that's why he's probably talking about leeks xD

With Drummer Nagai he probably means the drummer of Glay.